Movie Review: Appleseed Ex Machina

Appleseed Ex Machina, the sequel to 2004’s Appleseed film based on the manga series, follows once again the female warrior Deunan post World War Three. This time, however, the story is told through extremely life-like and detailed graphics, as opposed to the simpler form of the first film. Somewhere between the imaging of popular animation graphics from the likes of Pixar, and the grandfather of animation – 2D cartoons, Ex Machina is a tad intriguing to watch, the way how something isn’t outrageously perfect but still good enough to leave you in awe and wonder.

There’s much to applaud when the storytelling medium takes a gargantuan leap from being a flat, 2D still to an almost 3D computer graphic with details so minute, you can observe the leathery texture on Deunan’s gloves from the living room sofa.

Indeed, so much so that it is the saving grace of an otherwise average movie. The fast action sequences, coupled by the endless rounds of gunfire and appropriate slow-motions trademark of John Woo (producer of the film), is enough to distract anyone from the otherwise very repetitive plot – Deunan, together with a few half-human, half-robotic sidekicks, come together to save the world again from some other screwed-up robot freak. The characters, with their trademark manga faces (big eyes, high nose, small lips) are enough to drive anyone crazy, that is, if you have a knack to confuse faces. Then there’re the species of sub-humans and computer jargon to give you a second migraine, from cyborg to bioroids to nuclear wars to viruses. It’s a lot to stomach in one sitting, and Director Shinji Aramaki automatically assumes you’ve watched his first film. 

Perhaps the only praise due to Ex machina is its creative design, both in the character/set designs, as well as cinematography. Unlike the common still camera shots, the film’s fast action sequences are accompanied by equally fast zooming and panning, not unlike the style used by Paul Greengrass for the Bourne Trilogy. 

Ironic to the film’s plot, it seems as though that the improvement in technology has accounted for less and less in subtle storytelling, instead resulting in impressive but mundane deliveries of what used to be good ideas. 

(First published at InCinemas)

Movie Review: Three Kingdoms: Resurrection Of The Dragon

With the onslaught of war films barreling their way into cinemas, Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon tries to top them all with an all-star cast. Starring Andy Lau, Sammo Hung, Maggie Q and even Vanness Wu, you’d think nothing can go wrong with majority of the roles being helmed by big names.

There’s only so much an actor’s reputation can do to help a film, though. Three Kingdoms turned out a disappointment, and a boring one at that. The film, based on a 600-year old novel by Luo Guangzhong, tells the story of Zhao Yun (Andy Lau) whom, with great courage and cunning, becomes a top general of the Shu kingdom. As with all other war films, he has to defend his country from the ambitious warlord of the kingdom of Wei. The film, in essence, is a biography of Zhao Yun, narrated by Ping-An (Sammo Hung), Zhao’s comrade and ‘brother’. 

Even before watching the film, the first question to pop into my head was, “What, Maggie Q speaks Mandarin?” The answer is no, as you’ll find out during the obvious synching of her lines. Unrealistic and very funny to watch, you’ll once again wonder why she was cast as the role of a warrior in a Chinese film about ancient China. Andy Lau looks hilarious in a graying wig, and you begin to have trouble taking the movie seriously. In fact, the all-star cast becomes like a giant smokescreen to spice up this poor adaptation of a novel. 

Next, the cinematography. Being a war film with several battle scenes, you’d expect this movie to be exciting at least. Three Kingdoms fails to deliver on several levels; shots are stale and uninteresting, and after half an hour or so alternating between fast and slow motions, you’d think the director wanted the audience to end up with vertigo. It’s bloody, yes, but everyone just seems to die the same way. There’s no fantastic sword choreography to ogle at, either. In terms of entertainment value, I’d say I had a lot more fun watching An Empress and The Warriors despite gagging on its corniness. There’s one thing I’ll give toThree Kingdoms though: there’s no silly love triangle.

(First published at InCinemas)

Movie Review: Cassandra’s Dream

Alcohol, money and a fool’s errand

You know that feeling when you’re part of a crowd staring intently at the movie screen pretending to be engrossed but then secretly thinking, “God, if only I knew what the hell is going on right now”? I’d love to say I understood every line of the dialogue, but I spent pretty much the first half of the film trying to decipher Colin Farrell’s and Ewan McGregor’s accents. Hell, I’ll even admit I don’t even know what accent they were supposed to be uh, imitating. Aaaand…no subtitles. Moviegoers’ worst nightmare!

A quick summary of the plot: two brothers land themselves in the hellholes of financial debt decide, under the persuasion of a third party, to turn to crime to solve their woes (tsk). Perhaps it’s partly because I was lip-reading my way the first half of the film, but shrinking the first forty minutes would have been less of a torture on the ears, especially when I can summarise it in three phrases: “They buy a boat”, “They gamble too damn much”, and “Luck hates them, so they’re in deep shit”. And since this is a Woody Allen film, what you can expect isn’t so much the planning of the crime or the execution of it, but the psychology and conscience of the brothers of what comes after. 

Thankfully, the action begins the moment the two plot their crime, and not any later. Farrell manages to squeeze a little comic relief in the movie with his reluctance and constipated expressions about committing the crime, and McGregor contrasts beautifully as the colder, more self-centred of the two, despite the latter’s more clean-cut image and Farrell’s tougher-looking, leather-clad character. Allen once again takes his audience on a ride through the sanity of his characters, and explores the coping strategies of the two men before and after the crime. It’s a debate of what’s right and what’s wrong and all things morality – all very interesting if this wasn’t taken from the same mould of majority of Allen’s films. Also cleverly and subtly titled, you’ll find out the significance of the phrase “Cassandra’s Dream” as the movie plays on. 

Cassandra’s Dream is a tragic tale of a bad situation snowballing into a worse situation, where the ultimate wrong decision becomes the black cloak that isolates everything else. Unlike in most cases where hope is extinguished, the movie deals largely in choice rather than fate. Don’t go walking out of the cinema just because you can’t understand the dialogue; the film picks up speed and reaches a rather climatic ending, though it’s also probably wiser to wait for it to come out on DVD with a subtitle option.

(First published at InCinemas)

Movie Review: An Empress And The Warriors

If you were looking for entertainment, this is it. Though like many genres of film, the meaning of ‘entertainment’ here will determine if you will enjoy this particular one. An Empress and The Warriors is by no means cinematic gold, but if you’re the sort to find amusement from nitpicking the number of ridiculous and glaringly stupid plot holes while giving a running commentary throughout with a friend you’ve brought along to the movie, this film has been tailored just for you.

This film isn’t only unoriginal, but scraps the bottom of the barrel if you’re to compare it to other epics about war. From the trailer alone, you’re bound to be thinking “Mulan”, and Mulan it is. When the king of the Yan kingdom is assassinated (it really doesn’t sound so bad, he was badly injured in battle anyway), his daughter, Princess Yan Feier (Kelly Chen) is pressured into the role of warrior princess, in a bid to defend her country against the invading Zhaos. The only difference between “Mulan”, though, is that our lead isn’t under disguise. 

There is a love triangle, several cases of treachery, and – as you can imagine – battle scenes, which, amid all the hoo-ha of cinematic battle sequences (Gladiator, Troy, Curse Of the Golden Flower, The Warlords), were actually rather spectacular. The other impressive thing about Empress and The Warriors is its wardrobe. You can’t find a better way to weave “war” and “magnificence” into the Yan’s armour, the lethality and rougness in the weapons of the extinct but once undefeatable New Moon warriors, and even of Yan Feier’s princess-y robes. 

But here comes the letdown: the script is a compilation of all the cheesy clichés you can find in the scenes involving Yan Feier and mysterious healer Duan Lan-Quan (Leon Lai, though I prefer to call him Robin Hood in Asian format). Even the sexual tension between Feier and Donnie Yen’s Muyong Xuehu falls short of nobility because…I don’t know. Nobody goes running into a crowd of enemies because that isn’t sacrifice, it’s suicide, pure and simple. 

Between trying to build up the film’s romantic storylines and pumping it with adrenaline-loaded war sequences, Empress and The Warriors makes a weak candidate for either genre. A fun film to watch, nevertheless, here is a movie you get a feeling is going to turn out kind of dumb, but still want to watch anyway, if not for the pleasure of finding out how close to the mark you are on predicting the film’s outcome. 

(First published at InCinemas)

Movie Review: Vantage Point

Before you go, “Yuck, another president assassination and self-important political film”, there’s really no need to beat yourself up with visions of what this film could contain: pompous men in suits giving speeches, long biographies of said self-important Head of States, scores of beefy bodyguards, and secretive-looking limos. Okay, the film has all of the above, but that’s hardly the point. Vantage Point, narrated – or rather, shown – through eight different points of view, is cool.

First of all, who doesn’t like a bit of chaos? Invisible snipers are cool as hell, if Mark Wahlberg hadn’t already proved that in Shooter. But Vantage Point, though about an assassination of the President of the United States (who else?), doesn’t merely give you the going-ons though the perspective of the villain. The rollback, non-chronological editing gives the film its fresh and thrilling narrative style, so you’re kicking your shins wanting to figure out the truth and culprit behind the shooting (though you may also be tearing up your scalp in annoyance at the repetition). 

Much like the trailers of hit TV series, LOST, what you are subjected to in the first half of the film are merely reaction shots. It’s only after through three-quarters of the film when the villain’s point of view is revealed do you find out the whos, hows, and whys of the execution. Excellent way of keeping the audience in their seats, yes. Frustrating? Very. Director Pete Travis sure knows how to dangle that carrot, only rewarding those who are curious enough to stay behind. And stay behind you probably will, because there’s really nothing as riveting as little twists here and there along the plot, just when you’re convinced so-and-so is the killer. The film concludes with a car chase, though unlike your typical car chases, this one sticks to a more down-to-earth, less polished pursuit with ordinary vehicles (meaning no Michael Bay helicopters or high-end race cars). 

Probably one of few films that can rival the Bourne series in terms of storytelling and action (The other being the 9/11-inspired United 93, also directed by Paul Greengrass), Vantage Point is well worth every cent of the ticket price. I’d even go as far as say, “Don’t get the DVD, watch this on the big screen instead”. 

(First published at InCinemas)

Movie Review: The Bucket List

It’s certainly not every day where the two main leads of a movie are terminally ill patients, so the premise for The Bucket List is already quite an original one. Here, Edward Cole (Jack Nicholson) and Carter Chambers (Morgan Freeman) meet in a hospital room after being given less than a year to live. Between moping around and coming up with a list of things to do before ‘kicking the bucket’ and doing them, the two men decide to chose the latter and proceed to break out of hospital, against the protests of Carter’s distraught wife. If there was a mental image of two people in hospital gowns hooked onto tubes dashing out of the hospital, then you’re likely to be disappointed because neither of those happen. There’s nothing slapstick about The Bucket List, for the most part.

Indeed, this is a movie about two grown men who refuse to be bogged down by one of the deadliest diseases – cancer. Categorised under the genre “comedy”, The Bucket List prefers to entertain with its smart dialogue. As silly as it is tragic, one can expect a few snorts from the brilliant script, and Nicholson’s cynical take of his character from religious views to familial values add a kind of depressing humour to the film. Then you have the ever calm and gentle Freeman, whose very optimistic philosophical views remind you more of God than his role in Evan Almighty can ever hope to achieve. If anything, their grim fate is the only similarity between these two very opposite men.

Between the acceptance and denial of their numbered days, you feel a sense of foreboding about what’s to come, and can’t help but be sympathetic towards them. Sure, escaping the hospital means they’re both free from the torturous side-effects of chemotherapy, but with their lifespan almost parallel to the shortening list of things to do, there’s always an underlying “oh damn” feeling to whatever they’re currently enjoying. Still, it’s quite something to watch these two turning their hopelessness into courage in this “nothing-to-lose” situation (which also could not have been possible without the mountain of cash behind Edward). 

You won’t wish to be struck with cancer after watching the film, but the thought of being told the exact date of your death and the chance of milking each second to live a fulfilled life makes you feel almost envious of Edward and Carter. Almost. 

The pacing of the film may be a bit of a turn off to some, with long dialogues and very little action in comparison, but this is certainly a film that’ll make you laugh, and cry, and laugh some more.

(First published at InCinemas)

Movie Review: Bratz

The ironic thing about the tagline for Bratz, “Get ready. Get glam. Get real”, is that everything about the Bratz are as superficial as can be. Here is a movie based on the shallowest of high school clique dominance that tries too damn hard to disguise itself as a holier-than-thou lesson on friendship. I mean, what better way to reinforce the idea of loyalty than, like, shoes? 

Quite like how Pirates of the Caribbean was based on the ride at Disney, Bratz is based on the popular fashion toy franchise. And almost exactly like the toys, the four main characters of the movie look like human versions of their models, manufactured from a meat factory complete with make up that would make Michael Jackson jealous. 

Now, the movie wouldn’t be half as annoying if it weren’t so pretentious. Thriving on crazy exaggerations of the social elites and the god-awful contrast of the freaky outcasts, Bratz doesn’t succeed at anything but the worst sort of stereotyping. Yes, all four “bratz” represent some sort of ethnic minority group to look less like the faux they really are, but that’s just it. There’s only so much a person can take watching a couple of chicks on screen going on about loyalty and friendship decked out in the world’s most outrageous fashion accessories. 

And if all the hoo-ha about how deep their relationships are isn’t enough, there’re also several Apple product-placements to irritate the hell out of you – the girls take a delight in web-cam whoring and video conferencing, and of course, they all happen to own the same Macintosh. That’s bonding, that is.

Quite obviously trying to hitch a ride on the existing fan base of the dolls, Bratz will probably be an entertaining translation from being plastic to silver screen characters for those under the age of 14, but it’ll take more than being held at gunpoint for any sane person to pay for this.

(First published at InCinemas)

Movie Review: Semi-Pro

Not too long ago Will Ferrell played an Olympic ice skater in the romantic comedy also known as Blades Of Glory. A tad too soon, he is once again appearing in another comedy involving a sport - Semi-Pro, only this time instead of ice-skating, it’s basketball. 

The plot is as follows: Set in the 70s, Ferrell plays the owner, coach and player of an American Basketball team, the Tropics, and has to lead his teammates across several obstacles to help realise their dreams of qualifying for the NBA. Sounds like a very dry plot so far? It is. Ferrell tries to spice this very stale act by behaving like an absolute clown as the multi-tasking coach, spokesperson, promoter and choreographer (yes you heard right) for the team. 

The 70s humour used in the film is a direct like-it-or-hate-it option, very much how you either get British humour or you don’t. There are so many wacky, ridiculous set-ups courtesy of Ferrell’s over-the-top character that you get the feeling whoever wrote the script is really desperate for the audience to laugh. And crack a grin I did, only it wasn’t the “Hahaha that’s so ridiculous!” sort of grin but the “Er…was that a joke?” grin following a very uncomfortable and awkward pause. In fact, there were quite a few irrelevant but funny scenes, which, though funny, were…irrelevant.

The only way you can hope to enjoy this film is to enter the cinema with low expectations. And quite possibly watching the entire film with your eyes shut. It’s hardly decent and not at all worth the ticket price. 

(First published at InCinemas)

Movie Review: Crows Zero

Originally a manga later adapted into a film, Crow Zero speaks “badass” over and over again. Director Takashi Miike takes audiences behind the scenes of gangland in school – Suzuran High, or more appropriately, “School for Crows”. Dressed in black uniforms and each spiking outrageous hairdos, the students in Suzuran High look every bit like the notorious bird. Hell, there’s even a pecking order where different gangs literally fight their way to the top of the ruling ladder, recruiting the losers to their ranks in a way to increase their numbers. There’s no visible form of authority or even anything remotely resembling education on the school grounds, so what Suzuran High is is really just an enormous fighting ring where the toughest gets to boss everyone else around. Lots of pride and testosterone? You bet.

Although adapted from the manga series by Hiroshi Takahashi, one can watch and understand the movie quite decently without having any prior knowledge of the plot or characters. In fact, aside from the confusion of having the entire cast looking alike and having similar-sounding names (yours truly resorted to identifying them with hairstyles), there isn’t much not to understand because three-quarters have been dedicated to bloody fistfights and ass-kicking. Like gladiators in the Colosseum, the war between two major gangs, Genji and Heike, results in a climatic battle that quite predictably leads to the final showdown between the two sides’ leaders. 

Compared to the fascinating amount of violence, the choreography of them and the appropriate slow-mos in all the right places, the plot pales very much in comparison. Other than the historical feud between the two clans that gives the film an excuse to be bloody, there isn’t much else in the storyline to chew on. Despite being a bang at the beginning, relying entirely on action to move the film along gets stale after a while. 

Surprisingly though, the film is motivated by elements of loyalty and friendship. Beneath the tough exterior of the characters, it’s quite endearing to watch them succumb to things like sacrifice (the tougher the character the harder to imagine). Not only do they have softer sides to them, the film also has light touches of humour thanks to Genji’s sidekick and Suzuran dropout, Ken. 

Lots of muscle and very little brain, Crows Zero is entertaining to watch only because of its action and pretty cast. 

(First published at InCinemas)

Movie Review: Horton (Horton Hears A Who)

The ongoing battle between major animation companies has yet churned out another casualty (and you thought competition would improve standards). Before jumping into the plot and making references to the book it was based on, let me first say that I’ve not had a lot of childhood and therefore have no existing knowledge whatsoever about the works of Dr Seuss. 

This run-of-the-mill production by Twentieth Century Fox is fun to watch, no doubt, but hardly memorable in the sea of CGI films. And sometimes a star-studded cast may be that dead weight because hey, it’s Jim Carrey and Steve Carell and Seth Rogen, and they’re supposed to be funny. The film has its moments, yes, but somehow lacks that adventurous charm from the more prominent Pixar productions. Horton the elephant, voiced by Carrey, has to protect and convince the other animals that a microscopic community in a speck on a dandelion exists. The stark contrast between his huge, massive body and the idea of him protecting a pink dandelion stalk is absurd and a joke in itself, so points to that. But then the script, though hilarious, feels as though it can’t decide on targeting adults or children, and makes that same mistake by trying to cater to all but impressionable to none. 

What I did like about the plot, though (and this credit should probably go to the author of the book), is the motivation behind the villainy Kangaroo, voiced by Carol Burnett. The overprotective, no-nonsense and defensive mother’s motto goes along the line of “If I can’t see it, or hear it, or smell it, it doesn’t exist”, is really just a precaution to her joey, and Horton does look a bit mad strutting around grasping a dandelion with his trunk and claiming that it talks. It’s not your hard-core villain bent on murder and the like, which makes her a rather fresh character to watch on the silver screen. 

Horton can be classified as a family film with themes about unity, friendship, loyalty and forgiveness, though its CGI is a tad stiffer than Pixar’s superior imagery.

(First published at InCinemas)